The joys and aftermath of skee ball . . .

Who knew that playing 40 games of skee ball is actually similar to doing an hour's worth of aerobic exercise? I didn't -- until this morning when I woke up feeling like I had worked out for the first time in months. Skee ball obviously uses muscle groups that no other activity does!

Last night, my roommate and I went to Chuck-E-Cheese with my cousin, his wife, and their two children. I'm a little bit obsessed with skee ball . . . and with winning as many tickets as possible so as to procure a stash of cheap plastic junk that I will throw out by Sunday. As a result of my 40 games of skee ball, I won 222 tickets which 'purchased' me some rather fine jewelry from the Chuck-E-Cheese gift shop. I am saving said jewelry to wear on my birthday just two days hence. I know it will be a hit with all the patients at the office!

I'm almost 28-years-old and not ashamed that I still get a thrill when I win tickets at Chuck-E-Cheese. I think that some people might find this odd -- like the young man running the gift shop last night. My roommate and I were clearly quite excited about our horde of tickets and the worthless pieces of junk we accumulated! And there's nothing wrong with that!

Today at lunch, I didn't look at my chair before sitting down, and suddenly wished that I had. Courtesy of yesterday's monsoon, there was a puddle of water lurking in the chair, just waiting to make it look like I had a bit of an accident. It's been an hour and a half, and I still haven't dried out. Awkward, is all I can say.

My birthday is just two days away! I'm so excited that it falls on a Friday this year. I can be quite obnoxious on my birthday -- I tell everyone about it, and I'm hoping to wear a tiara to work on Friday (along with my super fab Chuck-E-Cheese jewelry!).

So, just to pour my heart out there a bit . . . I'm really homesick for England these days. I actually ache inside that I'm not there. Five years of life feels like a dream, and that makes me deeply sad. Maybe because I've been remembering my birthday last year and how awesome it was (probably my best birthday as of yet). I miss my friends, especially Joanne. I miss the country itself. I'm enjoying my life in Nashville, and I'm thankful for the friends I've made, but somedays I feel so . . . wrong here. Like I lost a big part of who I am when I flew away from England last year. I miss 'English Michelle.' She was so passionate and enthusiastic and purposeful and . . . alive. I feel like she's fading away, and I'm not sure I like 'Nashville Michelle' at all. She seems very materialistic and nervous and lazy and self-centered . . . shallow. I feel like I'm not connecting with people here at all -- that I'm not making a difference in their lives, that I'm not blessing people the way I want to be blessing them. I want so badly to be a godly woman, to be the lily among the thorns. I guess these days I feel so much like a thorn -- all prickly and sharp and uninviting and unattractive. I know life in England wasn't perfect, and I know ME in England wasn't perfect, but at least I knew why I was there and that I was making a difference. I'm still asking God why He brought me to Nashville and it still isn't clear. Waiting times can often become discouraging, even if they are growing times.

Didn't mean to get all soppy and intense all the sudden! Sometimes I feel like my blogs are manic-depressive. They certainly run the whole gamut of emotions. Gamut . . . hmmm . . . now that's a great word!

Thoughtless on Thursday

Good afternoon, dear readers! What's up with the weather today? Stormy one minute, the next, the sun is blazing in all it's glory. I just don't get it.

Speaking of weather, it was stinking hot yesterday. Hhhhhhot! I felt like the heat was smothering me. I couldn't breathe. I seriously felt like I was going to pass out. Ew. And it's only May. I don't know what's going to happen later on in the summer. I'll probably be hibernating in an air conditioned building somewhere. This Ohio girl who just spent five years in a country that doesn't have humidity is not conditioned for Tennessee summers!

Ok, this is embarrassing. I have come to believe that I have absolutely no short-term memory. Recent example: the phone just rang; it was a nurse calling one of our doctors about a patient. She told me her name and which hospital she was calling from. In the 6.35 seconds it took me to walk from my desk to the doctor's office, I had completely forgotten who was calling him. Sad, sad, sad. And all this before my 28th birthday. Tragic.

We're having technology problems here at work. My yahoo account either desperately hates me, or something is wrong with our system. It's frustrating. I've written several e-mails today (witty, interesting, entertaining ones, of course!) that refuse to be sent out into cyberspace. Grrrr. God must be attempting to teach me patience through this.

My birthday is only eight days away. Plans are in the works for Michelle's Marathon Birthday Lock-In Extraveganza. I feel like there should be t-shirts to commemorate said occassion.

I am on a mission. A quest which would change my life in remarkable ways. I want to be allowed to wear scrubs to work. This is an understatement. I think I'm obsessed with being allowed to wear scrubs at work.

I am not a nurse. I don't pretend to be. I don't want to be. I'm just lazy and fashionistically challenged. Choosing what to wear each day is probably my toughest decision each morning. I dread it. And I usually get to work loathing what I've put on my body.

A lot of doctors' offices allow their clerical staff to wear scrubs. And, in fact, I found out today that there's no rule that says I can't. It's only because all of the other clerical workers have no desire to wear scrubs. I think that's slightly odd, because scrubs are cheap, comfy (pretty much like pajamas), cute and come in a multitude of colors and designs. And they're easy to coordinate -- so easy, in fact, I know I could handle it.

So, I'm setting myself a goal: to discuss this with my boss by my birthday. Wouldn't that be the greatest present to myself to buy loads of cute scrubs to wear to work?

I know that you, dear reader, don't really care about my fashion concerns. I'm just telling you so you can hold me accountable with my stated goal.

The afternoon drags on. The sun is shining again, and I'm jealous of people who have jobs that require them to be outside. Park rangers, for example. Lifeguards at the beach, for another.

Oh, say can you see?

Friday afternoon at the office. Calm. Quiet. Two hours until home time.

All day, my right contact lens has been driving me crazy. After lunch, I gave in and took it out to examine it. Torn right down the middle. Awesome.

So, now I am sitting here, wearing my glasses -- which are broken, and are constantly falling off my face -- in public. I can't decide about glasses and me. Do I look like a nerd? Or do they give me a whole new look, as in 'sexy librarian' or 'smouldering secretary'? I don't know. All I do know is that I don't feel like myself when I wear my glasses. They make me feel awkward and unsure of myself. Isn't that strange?

I'm going with a group of friends tonight to see 'The DaVinci Code'. I'm probably most excited about seeing Lincoln, England, where they filmed a bit of it. Lincoln is one of my favorite places in England, and I would frequently hang out there on my days off. I've been to the heights and depths of the cathedral, which is featured in the movie. I'm thinking it will probably make me very homesick!

For some bizarro reason, I feel like writing a poem. Don't ask me why. I'm just feeling . . . poetic. Hmmmm . . .

Whence Comes a Fortnight
What IS a fortnight?
I do not know that word.
Well, if you are not English,
I guess it sounds absurd.
A fortnight = two weeks.
Aren't you glad you know it?
And only in one fortnight is my birthday,
So don't blow it!

Oh my ridiculousness! I'm such a dork! Anyways . . .

I'm so incredibly thrilled that it's Friday. And behold, the sun doth shine forth. Praying for fun in the sun tomorrow!

Quote of the day

Today, I was blessed to speak to an 86-year-old woman on the phone at work. She was hilarious, and made me hope and pray that, should I live to be her age, my humor and wit will be mature and intact. Anyway, my favorite thing she said, at the close of our conversation, was this: "I was just calling to see if the doctor takes Medicare and old people." Haha! Fabulous! She also called one of our doctors 'old', but I won't be telling him that anytime soon.

The weekend is coming! And I couldn't be happier!

And it's all downhill from here . . .

Ok, that title kind of sounds negative, but I mean it in a very positive way! It's Wednesday -- half-way through the work week. As of 12:30 today, we're heading straight for the weekend. Yes.

Hmmm . . . I feel like I've got nothing important or exciting to share with my dear readers today. I'm still pining for some sunshine. I'm starting to think England was sunnier than this! I had a better tan in England's May than I do right now. There's something distinctly not right about that. I learned this in the UK -- I need sunshine to keep me upbeat. There's something about that pure-straight-from-the-sun Vitamin D that makes me peppy. I guess you could say, it's my drug of choice. And right now, I'm going through withdrawal.

Oh my word, I just heard a rumor: there are new giraffes at the zoo! I heart giraffes! They are, by far, my favorite animals. And I'm super-jealous of their eyelashes.

Ok, so right now, our waiting room kind of smells like a bowling alley. I think every patient who has walked in here during the past 20 minutes smoked right before coming inside. Goodness. I can taste the smokiness. Ewwey bleh, bleh.

I'm going to share a quote on my page-a-day calendar at work. I don't know where this particular calendar came from, but I've read a quote off of it every day since December 21. Monday's said this: When I look at the galaxies on a clear night -- when I look at the incredible brilliance of creation, and think that this is what God is like, then instead of feeling intimidated and diminished by it, I am enlarged -- I rejoice that I am part of it (Madeleine L'Engle). I love that. Whenever I look at the stars on a clear night away from city lights, it makes me so incredibly happy. I am in awe that the One that I call Father made it all.

Yesterday, after work, needing some good quality Michelle time, I drove (through the torrential downpour) to, where else, Granny White Park. I sat in my car in the deserted parking lot while the rain flooded everything and lightning struck nearby trees and light poles. There were some scary moments, even for me, who would love to quit this office job and become a storm chaser (I kept wondering if the sage advice I'd heard all my life -- that your car is the safest place to be when it's lightning -- is actually true. I was feeling pretty vulnerable.). But I loved it -- the power of it all. Knowing that God is in control -- even of the storms. When the skies cleared, and I could dismiss the lure of Pei Wei no longer, I drove home feeling energized and . . . better. Sort of cleansed, ridiculous as that sounds.

Then I ate Pei Wei.

And watched the season finale of Scrubs.

Utter bliss. I can't complain!

A mish-mash of thoughts for Monday morning

How did the weekend fly by so quickly? Last night, around 9 p.m., I realized that it was already time to start a new work week. This past weekend was a lot of fun in my ways, but also very busy and hectic. I actually feel more tired today than I did on Friday. Not the way I like to start the week. But I'm a survivor, and will get through this. I will.

First of all, I have some amazing news to share. It's unbelievable, and those who know me best will be shocked. I haven't eaten ice cream in two days. *GASP* It's true, it's true. I just don't know what's wrong with me. The weirdest part is, I haven't WANTED ice cream. The desire just has not been there. I've heard that our taste buds kind of renew themselves every seven years, which explains why our preferences for foods change periodically. Do my taste buds not want ice cream anymore? And what will they want next?

I've been missing the sunshine. Today it's cold and kind of cloudy looking. Yesterday was much of the same. I want to sit outside at my spot at the park. Alas, the weather just hasn't been conducive lately. It kind of makes me sad. The corners of my mouth are turning down just thinking about it.

To cheer myself up, I will share something that makes me happy. I bought a new CD on Friday and listened to it yesterday. Oh my. If you're looking for some amazing praise music, check it out. Watermark, A Grateful People. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous!

I want to move to Colorado. I heart mountains and clean, fresh air. If Colorado doesn't work out, I'd settle for Liechtenstein or Austria. The Alps would be, you know, okay, I guess. I dream of living in a cabin in the mountains. I feel like it may be part of my destiny.

So, exciting news. My sister moved to Nashville this weekend. She is currently taking up residence on the couch in my apartment until we can find her a good place of her own or a kindhearted roommate. I love my sister. She's one of my heroes. I took her to church with me yesterday and introduced her to a few of my friends. This, to me, is very intimidating. She's cute and petite and outgoing and witty. Next to her, I feel like Brunhilda, the scary Amazonian giantess. I'm super-proud of my little sis, but my self-esteem really takes a dive when I start comparing myself to her. She's just so beautiful and sophisticated. I guess that's why the Bible tells me not to compare myself to others. It's a game I'll never be able to win and it only leads to pride and/or jealousy. Both are pretty gross. Anyways, my sister is here, I'm excited to have her around, but I need to remember that we are both very cool girls, albeit for different reasons. I just need to be moi!

And finally, my birthday is only two-and-a-half weeks away! I'm starting to think about how I'd like to celebrate. Dear readers, do you have any suggestions?

80 Questions I Guarantee You've Never Answered

80 Questions I Guarantee You've Never Answered

[[Before The Media]]
Do you watch the Gilmore Girls? Heck, yes! And I think I'm the only person in the world who genuinely likes Logan.
Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson? Should I be embarrassed that I don't have a clue who he is?
Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.? I've watched maybe 10 minutes of it in my whole lifetime
Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.? No, but I'll admit to loving a few of her songs.
Do you regularly watch the news? Hmmmm . . . not so much. I read about it online.
Which radio stations are your favorites? I don't listen to the radio. DJs bug me.

[[Be honest]]
Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? Hmmm, I doubt it.
Queen? I think I've got 'Bohemian Rhapsody' somewhere. Wish I had more of their stuff.
Alanis Morisette? I wish!
Do you watch Family Guy regularly? Never seen it!
The Simpsons? No, but when I do, it makes me laugh.
King of the Hill? No, haven't seen that either.
Seventh Heaven? I used to watch it while I was in college.

[[Admit it]]
Do you read trashy romance novels often? Haha, oh my gross. No!
Do you really work out every day? I would love to work out everyday, but, alas, I just don't have the time.
Have you ever eaten an entire pint or more of ice cream by yourself? I'm a girl, of course I have.
Have you ever eaten nothing but junk food for a week straight? Sadly, a time or two
Do you sing obnoxiously in the car when you're driving alone? Oh my word -- yes! If people could hear me, I probably wouldn't have any friends.
Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home? No, there is nothing appealing to me about singing in the shower.
Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12? Oh yeah -- 'That's So Raven' actually makes me laugh.
Have you ever looked forward to going to school? Yes, I want to go back!

[[The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary]]
Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they werent really? I'm confused.
What did you draw for your first crush back in elementary school? I don't think I ever drew him anything, but I picked him to be boys' line leader on the days I was girls' line leader. I know. Romantic.
Have you ever liked a girl or guy but didn't ask them out because you were afraid? Yes, but I also believe that guys should ask the girls anyway.
Have you ever written a poem or story about your love life? Yep. And this is how it started: "Flushing, I feel myself blushing, hotly realizing what I just said." And the rest of it is just as good, haha! (Just to clarify, I wrote this when I was 16. It wasn't last week or anything!)
An autobiography? I've been told I should write one, but I don't know if I'd be committed enough to doing it.
Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but nothing? Nope. My mind never stops working.
Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance? I've been physically attracted to someone based totally on their appearance, but that's as far as the attraction went.

[[The Questions You Love: Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones]]
Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis? Not even close.
Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? I like to be surrounded by cleanness, yes.
Have you ever been to South America or Africa? No, but I've been to Australia and all over Europe.
Have you ever owned a Klutz book or kit? No.
Do you know how to knit? No.
Do you have a cell phone or an iPod with a patterened cover? Haha, no.
Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile? Why would I do that?
Do you keep a diary or journal (online or on paper)? Yes.
Do you own a striped sweater? I'm wearing a striped sweater today, funnily enough.
How often do you take a bubble bath? As often as time allows.
When you open your closet, what is the dominant color of your clothes? red, white and black

[[Truly Unusual This or That Questions]]
Baskin Robbins or Coldstone? Both
Sees or Godiva? Godiva. Mmmmmm . . .
The Shins or the Decemberists? The Shins.
America or Canada? England
Physics or chemistry? Not even if my life depended on it
Earphones or headphones? Earphones
Chocolate brown or teal? Combined, I think they look pretty hot
Earrings or a ring? Earrings -- I don't wear rings
Commitment or casual dating? Hello, loaded question.
Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Both -- although I've read all the HP books but none of the LOTR.
Fly or road trip? Depends on my traveling companions.
Starbucks or Petes? Starbucks.

[[Another Wave of Random Questions]]
What is your favorite Disney movie? 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'The Little Mermaid'
How much jewelry do you own? Too much that I never wear.
Have you memorized the rejection hotline, just in case? No, but it's a good idea.
Have you ever given someone the rejection hotline as your number? I might be tempted to.
Do you own any Care Bears memorabilia? Nope.
Do you have a comforter on your bed? I have a queen-sized feather duvet imported from England. I am in love with it!

The Simple Things that I Love

Today's list: 25 Little Things that I Love A Lot

1. Walking barefoot on soft carpet, on grass, on the beach
2. Bright colored raincoats and umbrellas on a wet, gray day
3. Pink toenail polish
4. Using my handpainted "Michelle's Cuppa Tea" mug in the mornings
5. LUSH baths
6. My daily Diet Pepsi break around 4 p.m. every afternoon
7. Dangly earrings
8. Bagpipe music, live in person
9. The smell of rain, snow, spring, and most of all the nature smells, the ocean
10. Having fresh flowers in the house
11. English strawberries
12. Clothes fresh from the dryer
13. Playing the piano by candlelight
14. Receiving "real" mail, not bills or junk
15. Clean sheets on the bed
16. Popcorn
17. Finding out at the register that your purchase is actually on sale
18. Taking a walk on a summer evening around 8:30
19. Getting an e-mail from a long-lost friend
20. Old yearbooks and photo albums
21. Christmas lights at night, shining on freshly-fallen snow
22. Tulips
23. Hugs from a child
24. The smell of old, antique books
25. And no list is complete without it: ice cream.

Blast from the past!!!

I'm back!

After an extended hiatus from my blogspot blog, I have returned to share all my random thoughts and opinions and emotions with whoever is brave/bored/interested enough to read them! Clearly, I remembered my username and password. In fact, I hadn't even remembered I had this blog set up until this morning! Sad, isn't it? All part of growing older. I mean, I will be 28 in just three weeks.

So, here I am, relocated to the United States and working through reverse culture shock. I'm doing pretty okay, I think. I still have days where certain songs/photos/memories trigger the tears. And I'm cool with that. I knew it would be tough and emotional and kind of like a roller coaster ride. Such is life. But what an adventure!

Okay, enough of the deep stuff! I think I'm going to become a listmaker in my blogs. Starting with this one:

Five Things I've Discovered Recently that have Brightened/Enriched My Life (how's that for a list title, eh?)

1. Granny White Park -- If the sun is shining, I'm probably outside enjoying it (except Monday-Friday 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.). I love this park. It's big and pretty with lots of nice grass to recline on. I love the feel of grass on my bare feet. I love the long summer days. This is my new refuge.

2. 'God's Smuggler' by Brother Andrew -- Three times in one week someone recommended this book to me. Fortunately, my mum owns a copy and loaned it to me. I started reading it this past Saturday, and have been amazed and humbled and challenged by Brother Andrew's faith and courage and enthusiasm for sharing God's Word. It's made me want to have a more outrageous, exuberant, daring faith in God.

3. Baja Burrito -- Ok, so I was introduced to this back in October, but it's come to mean a great deal to me more recently. It's cheap, it's yummy, it's Mexican. Need I say more?

4. Chocolate covered peanuts -- I read somewhere that if you must eat chocolate, then to eat the kind with nuts in it. This somehow increases the nutritional value. Well, kids, I MUST eat chocolate. Happily, a store very close to my work has the best chocolate covered peanuts ever! On the days when I MUST eat chocolate, I make a run for the candy counter.

5. Jim Halpert (aka John Krasinski) -- Girls, if you've watched "The [American] Office" you know what I'm saying. I think Jim may be my 'Perfect Man.' He's tall, he's handsome, he's intelligent, and he's very creative and witty. *sigh* I'm in love.

Honarable Mentions: Peanut Butter Passion Ice Cream. Hmmmm, I kind of feel sad that's all I got right now. Blame it on the afternoon mind fry.