The joys and aftermath of skee ball . . .
Who knew that playing 40 games of skee ball is actually similar to doing an hour's worth of aerobic exercise? I didn't -- until this morning when I woke up feeling like I had worked out for the first time in months. Skee ball obviously uses muscle groups that no other activity does!
Last night, my roommate and I went to Chuck-E-Cheese with my cousin, his wife, and their two children. I'm a little bit obsessed with skee ball . . . and with winning as many tickets as possible so as to procure a stash of cheap plastic junk that I will throw out by Sunday. As a result of my 40 games of skee ball, I won 222 tickets which 'purchased' me some rather fine jewelry from the Chuck-E-Cheese gift shop. I am saving said jewelry to wear on my birthday just two days hence. I know it will be a hit with all the patients at the office!
I'm almost 28-years-old and not ashamed that I still get a thrill when I win tickets at Chuck-E-Cheese. I think that some people might find this odd -- like the young man running the gift shop last night. My roommate and I were clearly quite excited about our horde of tickets and the worthless pieces of junk we accumulated! And there's nothing wrong with that!
Today at lunch, I didn't look at my chair before sitting down, and suddenly wished that I had. Courtesy of yesterday's monsoon, there was a puddle of water lurking in the chair, just waiting to make it look like I had a bit of an accident. It's been an hour and a half, and I still haven't dried out. Awkward, is all I can say.
My birthday is just two days away! I'm so excited that it falls on a Friday this year. I can be quite obnoxious on my birthday -- I tell everyone about it, and I'm hoping to wear a tiara to work on Friday (along with my super fab Chuck-E-Cheese jewelry!).
So, just to pour my heart out there a bit . . . I'm really homesick for England these days. I actually ache inside that I'm not there. Five years of life feels like a dream, and that makes me deeply sad. Maybe because I've been remembering my birthday last year and how awesome it was (probably my best birthday as of yet). I miss my friends, especially Joanne. I miss the country itself. I'm enjoying my life in Nashville, and I'm thankful for the friends I've made, but somedays I feel so . . . wrong here. Like I lost a big part of who I am when I flew away from England last year. I miss 'English Michelle.' She was so passionate and enthusiastic and purposeful and . . . alive. I feel like she's fading away, and I'm not sure I like 'Nashville Michelle' at all. She seems very materialistic and nervous and lazy and self-centered . . . shallow. I feel like I'm not connecting with people here at all -- that I'm not making a difference in their lives, that I'm not blessing people the way I want to be blessing them. I want so badly to be a godly woman, to be the lily among the thorns. I guess these days I feel so much like a thorn -- all prickly and sharp and uninviting and unattractive. I know life in England wasn't perfect, and I know ME in England wasn't perfect, but at least I knew why I was there and that I was making a difference. I'm still asking God why He brought me to Nashville and it still isn't clear. Waiting times can often become discouraging, even if they are growing times.
Didn't mean to get all soppy and intense all the sudden! Sometimes I feel like my blogs are manic-depressive. They certainly run the whole gamut of emotions. Gamut . . . hmmm . . . now that's a great word!
Last night, my roommate and I went to Chuck-E-Cheese with my cousin, his wife, and their two children. I'm a little bit obsessed with skee ball . . . and with winning as many tickets as possible so as to procure a stash of cheap plastic junk that I will throw out by Sunday. As a result of my 40 games of skee ball, I won 222 tickets which 'purchased' me some rather fine jewelry from the Chuck-E-Cheese gift shop. I am saving said jewelry to wear on my birthday just two days hence. I know it will be a hit with all the patients at the office!
I'm almost 28-years-old and not ashamed that I still get a thrill when I win tickets at Chuck-E-Cheese. I think that some people might find this odd -- like the young man running the gift shop last night. My roommate and I were clearly quite excited about our horde of tickets and the worthless pieces of junk we accumulated! And there's nothing wrong with that!
Today at lunch, I didn't look at my chair before sitting down, and suddenly wished that I had. Courtesy of yesterday's monsoon, there was a puddle of water lurking in the chair, just waiting to make it look like I had a bit of an accident. It's been an hour and a half, and I still haven't dried out. Awkward, is all I can say.
My birthday is just two days away! I'm so excited that it falls on a Friday this year. I can be quite obnoxious on my birthday -- I tell everyone about it, and I'm hoping to wear a tiara to work on Friday (along with my super fab Chuck-E-Cheese jewelry!).
So, just to pour my heart out there a bit . . . I'm really homesick for England these days. I actually ache inside that I'm not there. Five years of life feels like a dream, and that makes me deeply sad. Maybe because I've been remembering my birthday last year and how awesome it was (probably my best birthday as of yet). I miss my friends, especially Joanne. I miss the country itself. I'm enjoying my life in Nashville, and I'm thankful for the friends I've made, but somedays I feel so . . . wrong here. Like I lost a big part of who I am when I flew away from England last year. I miss 'English Michelle.' She was so passionate and enthusiastic and purposeful and . . . alive. I feel like she's fading away, and I'm not sure I like 'Nashville Michelle' at all. She seems very materialistic and nervous and lazy and self-centered . . . shallow. I feel like I'm not connecting with people here at all -- that I'm not making a difference in their lives, that I'm not blessing people the way I want to be blessing them. I want so badly to be a godly woman, to be the lily among the thorns. I guess these days I feel so much like a thorn -- all prickly and sharp and uninviting and unattractive. I know life in England wasn't perfect, and I know ME in England wasn't perfect, but at least I knew why I was there and that I was making a difference. I'm still asking God why He brought me to Nashville and it still isn't clear. Waiting times can often become discouraging, even if they are growing times.
Didn't mean to get all soppy and intense all the sudden! Sometimes I feel like my blogs are manic-depressive. They certainly run the whole gamut of emotions. Gamut . . . hmmm . . . now that's a great word!
posted by Michelle @ 11:23 AM
1 Comments:
At 7:18 AM,
Lisa said…
Michelle-
Your blog perfectly captured how I still feel some days - although not as much as in the beginning. I often feel as though "Scotland Lisa" was just a much better person - more purpose-driven, more spiritual, etc. (she was a lot skinnier, too!! ;-).
I've found it really helps to read my journals and remember the ups and downs there as well. Five years is a long time - a big chunk of your life - so naturally you are going to miss it and relate to it. It's always going to be a large, defining part of your life. Some people will get it and some just won't.
God has a purpose for you - whether here or over there. I know I've been blessed just to have you here in Nashville!
Love,
Lisa
P.S. I think it is harder on rainy days like today (stares wistfully at her Scottish flag mug full of tea). *sigh*
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