Praying for a miracle

I have a dream.

Hmmm . . . that sounds familiar.

Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream, and so do I. My dream probably isn't anywhere near as noble and important as his, but it's still a dream. It's important to me. I want to make it a reality, but the way my life's been this week, I haven't a clue how that could happen.

I want to go to Scotland.

Yeah, that's my dream.

See, not noble, not important. Kind of selfish, actually.

I love Scotland. I've been twice before, but that's not enough for me. It's in my blood. I cry when I hear bagpipes. To me, it's the most beautiful place on earth. There's still so much of it I want to explore.

As I wrote yesterday, I'm leaving the UK in two months. I don't know when I'll be back here again. Maybe next year. Maybe in 30 years. Maybe never. I don't know when I'll have the opportunity to visit my bonny Scotland again.

Today, just in case, I checked flight prices from Nottingham to Edinburgh in September. Twenty-three pounds return. That's less than $50 for a two-way ticket, a ticket from here to my dream come true. It's so close, so easy, but yet, so far from my reach.
I don't even have the money to pay my rent this week, much less buy a ticket to Scotland. I've had to borrow money to pay my bills. It seems ridiculous to even entertain the thought of spending my money on something so unnecessary, so trivial. But, oh, it's so very tempting.

Angie, my housemate, claims that I will get to go to Scotland before I move back to America. She even told me to start picking my dates. (Unbeknownst to her, I did). She believes I will have my miracle.

Angie believes in the same God I do. The One who said, "Nothing is impossible with me." The same One who tells us that He can fulfill the desires of my heart. My heart deeply desires a parting trip to Scotland. But is that a good and right desire? I believe that if God thinks so, I'll be seeing the Highlands soon.
The truth is, I want a miracle. I want God to provide for what I need, and then enough to visit a place I adore while I still have the opportunity. And so I pray to the God of all miracles:
Father, if You want me to go to Scotland, please give me what I need to do that. Please make my dream come true. I don't know how or when, but I believe that nothing is impossible with You, even this desire of mine that seems so far from my reach today. I want to go to Scotland, Lord. Will you please make a way for me to get there?

I'll keep you updated!

Summertime

After a very long leave of absence from my blog, I'm back! Because I am writing this on a computer in the library, I only have 12 minutes to journal my life from April until now. Ooops, only 11 minutes left!
Since I last wrote, my life has been filled with moments of self-discovery and large decisions to be made. It's been scary, and it's been exhilarating. I've had some real highs and some terrifying lows. Somedays I feel like I've woken up on a roller coaster, and I'm being tossed around as my emotions shoot up and down and all around in just a matter of minutes. Wow! Such is life, I guess.
My biggest pivotal moment recently occurred when, a month ago, I made the decision to leave England in the autumn. I cried for two days after I made that decision, but I know it's right. I feel it in my gut. It's not easy, but sometimes the right thing to do is also the hardest.
In just a few weeks, I'll leave a country that I have learned to love with a passion. I'll say goodbye to people who have been my family and friends in a place where I didn't know a soul to start with. It's going to hurt like crazy. It's going to break my heart.
Oswald Chambers once wrote something like, "If through a broken heart God can accomplish His purposes, pray that God breaks your heart." That's not a direct quote, but the gist of it is the same. Sometimes God works best through us when our hearts are broken and crushed, when we have nothing left to hold on to but Him. I pray that's what He does with me. My heart will break when I leave England, but I pray He'll use the pieces of it to make something new and wonderful.
Please be praying for me in the coming weeks and months. This is a new adventure. Carpe diem!